Safety Guidelines

For Newcomers
  • Inappropriate Behavior: It is perfectly normal to feel uncomfortable in your first meeting(s) due to the nature of our addiction. If you experience or witness behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe before/during/after a meeting for any reason, you are encouraged to bring it to the attention of a trusted member or the meeting secretary.

  • Zoom Anonymity Online: Please use only your first name with last initial when creating your Zoom Profile Name or when introducing yourself in a meeting. Be aware that what you share in your profile name, such as last name, phone number, etc., will be seen by all other members on the call. If you need help with this, contact the SA San Diego hotline.

  • Zoom Anonymity by Phone (Dial-In Only): If you are dialing in with a phone to a Zoom call, your phone number will be displayed to all members. You may ask the host/secretary to replace your phone number with your first name, but that may take a few minutes, especially if the meeting is already underway.

  • Minors: Individuals under 18 years of age are not allowed in SA meetings.

For Members
  • For All Members: The Newcomer Guidelines above are also recommended for all members.

  • Reporting any dangerous situations or criminal behavior to the proper authorities does not violate any of our Traditions and is recommended when the safety of another person is at risk. This applies to both direct and observed experiences, as well as member shares.

  • Boundaries: While life on life’s terms includes attraction toward others, certain boundaries are necessary to minimize distraction & maintain a safe environment for all members to focus on recovery. Determining which boundaries are appropriate to our level of sobriety and healing is best done with the guidance of our sponsor. Such boundaries may include sharing contact info, physical interactions, and/or group/individual fellowship outside of meetings.

  • Twelfth Step Work: Whether it is inviting someone to a meeting, offering a ride to a meeting, or approaching a newcomer at his/her first meeting to welcome them, it is essential that this be done in groups of two or more where at least one of the two members has some significant recovery/sobriety/time in the program.

  • Sponsorship: In addition to the usual recommendations to choose a sponsor who has the kind of recovery you want for yourself, with at least a year of sobriety, and who is further along in the steps with his/her own sponsor, we suggest choosing a member who is the same gender as you, even if that means long-distance Step work over the phone. When considering the possibility of a different arrangement for sponsorship, ask other sober members for ideas/feedback.

For Groups
  • Zoom:

    • Greeter/Co-Host: Consider creating this service position for large/hybrid meetings to assist the host/secretary. The responsibility would be to use the chat/waiting room features to identify participants whose numbers/names are unfamiliar and grant access as appropriate.

    • Chat Functionality: Deactivating the private chat feature for meeting participants keeps members accountable for their communication with others.

  • Twelve Traditions: Familiarity and consistent practice of SA's Twelve Traditions is critical to both individual and group recovery. View the Traditions checklist from the AA Grapevine.

  • Group Inventories: It is recommended that every group schedule inventories on a regular basis to nurture a culture of sobriety and recovery. View various group inventory resources.

  • Check Meetings: In the event that a situation arises outside the scope of experience of a member or group, a check meeting may prove helpful to reach a solution.

  • Additional Assistance: Groups are encouraged to contact the SA San Diego Intergroup (SASDI) or the SA International Central Office (SAICO) for guidance.

Additional Resources

For Women

You are not alone. There are many of us who are addicted to lust. We have found a solution in SA. If you think you have a problem with lust, you are welcome at our meetings. Most SA meetings are open to all genders (see p. 178 of the Sexaholics Anonymous). In addition to regular attendance at meetings, you are encouraged to contact other women in SA. We often support each other with sponsorship, daily phone calls, and arrangements to attend meetings together.

 

Women are currently a small percentage of our membership, but this does not reflect an accurate percentage among sexaholics in general society. The density of men in SA means that women sometimes find themselves at meetings where they are the only female present. While this can be challenging at first, we have also found great recovery in mixed meetings. It is important to remember that there are many sober women in SA, and that you will certainly meet many of us on your journey to recovery. 

Some tips for getting into SA recovery & making connections with women in SA:

  • Learn and Practice Safe Boundaries: Common sense and some other precautions can help maintain a safe and healthy environment for all members of SA. Your sponsor and other experienced, sober members (which include brothers in your local meeting) can educate you about boundaries appropriate to your length and quality of sobriety.

  • Keep Coming Back to Your Local Meetings: The Meetings section provides a daily and weekly schedule. Even if you’re the only woman in your local meeting, you’re not the only woman with the disease of sexaholism. Many of us have found it helpful to attend at least six to eight SA meetings, and begin working the Twelve Steps with a sponsor, in order to experience the benefits of SA meetings. So keep coming back!

  • Attend Phone Meetings: There are numerous calls throughout each day of the week attended by SA members from all over the world. Women are usually present. View this list for complete information about meeting times, phone numbers, type of meetings, and access codes.

  • Connect with Women: Supplementing local connections, these resources unite women in fellowship and recovery. For more information, please call SA International Central Office (SAICO) at 615-370-6062 or toll-free at 866-424-8777.

    • Women-Only Virtual Meetings: accessible by phone/online

    • Women-Only Internet Communities: social media and other online platforms where women in SA support, inform, and connect with each other.

    • International Sponsorship: if you encounter difficulty finding a local female sponsor, you can work with a sponsor from outside your local area over the phone or online video chat.

  • Attend SA Events: The SA International Conventions held every January and July, and regional events in your area, are an excellent place to find sponsors, meet other women in recovery, participate in women-only meetings, and share stories and contact information. Events are announced here, your local website(s), and/or the Essay newsletter. Female members often arrange to attend so that they can meet with their long-distance sisters.

  • Read SA Literature: Literature is available for sale at face-to-face meetings or at the SAICO Online Store. The brochure, “SA is for Women,” the quarterly publication “Essay,” and the books, "Members Stories" and Step Into Action, contain numerous stories from women.

 

SA works if you work it, and you are worth it! You are welcome here!

For Members
It is strongly recommended that ALL members, regardless of gender, familiarize themselves with the following essentials: